I stand at a crucial precipice today. Life has become a warzone. Unnumbered hardships wait around every corner; every nook and crevice harbors enemies and false friends. They say they will annihilate my very existence with enmity and slander. I smile valiantly. It must be very hard for people to make up lies about honorable people just to win their side of the arguments. It must be a smoldering ember of hatred within their bosoms that makes them say cruel words. Their defamation shows that I have won way before the actual dual even started. It is easiest to sort out your true friends from your enemies and hypocrites when a bad word of gossip travels. The people whose hearts are with you stand up for you and fight in your absence, and those who pass on the words do you the undeniable favor of leaving your life without any further tests. I do not claim absolute wisdom but I know there never was a story, real or concocted, between good and evil where evil won and goodness suffered. It all boils down to a happily ever after, if even the reward starts long after we cease to be.
I have always lived my life from a third person perspective, trying incessantly to please my family, friends, mentors, saints and God. I have always felt cheated and judged by social skepticism. Words like ‘too good to be true’ and ‘Mother Teresa’ have been reiterated so many times that I have come to deeply abhor the underlying metaphor. I heard the worst words in the world today and I suddenly felt free. I do not need to prove my purity, innocence or goodness anymore. I can be as human as the next person. I will never be rewarded for doing everything good I feel within my essence and am compelled to do, at least not from the mortal world. Any sin or wrongdoings will also be punished by an Omnipotent and I will not allow any person to persecute me anymore. Today was an important turning point in my attitude. I have always taken too many right turns in my life. No wonder I have always felt lost in circles. I have finally decided to take a couple of left turns as well. Sometimes, if not often, I will indulge in things that make me happy, provided I do not hurt or abuse any other person’s rights or liberty. This one moment of clarity has lifted a huge burden off my chest. I can be who I am without any guilt or remorse. I am free and I have every right to be so.
We all suffer from hatred, jealousy, gossip and meanness of others and sometimes these things hurt more deeply than any physical assault. It is necessary to remember that not everyone’s opinion counts; for every hundred false friends and foes, one true friend who stands by your side tips the balance in your favor. Unfortunately, sometimes even our own families do not love us the way we deserve to be loved; other than sheer humanity and kindness we do not owe those people any courtesy that they do not reciprocate. People who cannot love us unconditionally must be taught a code of ethics to love and regard us conditionally. If they do not comply they must endure a penalty of some sort, be it a physical or emotional detachment or sometimes complete cut off from our inner circle of life. As I ponder upon these sad musings I realize that more than love and care, the complicated intricacies of human relationships need our attention. There will always be hearts we will not be able to mould no matter how deeply we love them or how generously we share our blessings with them. These relationships are not our losses or failures; they are the misfortune of those souls who cannot understand unconditional love.
As I write these lines, the wisdom of the ages touches my heart and heals my heartache. I know deep within that as there have been people who have loved me for no reason at all, there will be others who will hate me for the same unexplainable rationale. I for one can only thank God for giving me the former, ask him to help me to forgive the latter and seek wisdom to know the difference between the two. As I reiterate my feelings I am thinking of some beautiful people and many ugly ones and saying a silent prayer for each and everyone. May I still remain a blessing for the good and the bad alike and may I teach some souls to love, who have never been blessed with this feeling. The slander and mischief of people is just another way of testing our mettle and courage. Even though I wish no one would do something as low and mean as this, I know there will always be people like that. I write today’s lines in dedication to a very hurt soul I met today, hoping and praying that if even one person changes his ways and stops hurting other people, maybe the world will after all be a better place for our children.